I just watched “Sanju”a few weeks ago and realize my life has more colours. But I was not a addict, neither I did something wrong but still I have more drama and importantly it is continuing.
I was sitting on a sofa, watching one of my brother shouting on me and other was gazing me with so much hatred, I can see tears in his eyes.He just yell to me at once, ” you are black from inside”.
My mother and Bua was sitting behind my brother on dining chairs with trying to understand what’s going on.
I am just looking them and by looking to them instead of saying something,I was trying to understand that how can I reply if they are behaving like this.
The problem is, They both are good personals that’s how they are suffering with BGS(Being good syndrome)
I Know you are confused… its look like General family drama.
Yes, it is but unlike I see it from different glasses.
Ok, Sri Ram Ji is a big hero, Why is he big hero because he killed big villain “shree Ravana “.
So Ravana is more important than Ram Ji.
Ravana is educated, kind and powerful king.He did puja for shree Ram.you can know from this link:
In short, there is nothing good or bad it’s just like if I am a relative of Ravana, I hate shee Ram And see him as a villain.
Being good is not BAD But carry a image of always being good is Bad. And this is called Being Good Syndrome.
- What you did is always seems right to you!
- You always blame other because in your point of view he is wrong
- You may do same thing For which you accuse others.
So thank god I am BAD.
I see myself ………. looking, staring, watching me and………next…..
I see my fan with its three wings……..”DAMN”…..It was a dream……….. so weird….
I just raise my left hand outside my quilt to find my mobile, which i put somewhere on my left side table, I suppose.
It was chilly outside
In the attempt to find the mobile, mobile struck with my hand and fell off on floor.
Shit,…Shit…..SHIT!!!, I scold my self ,
“Great….now i have to come outside of my quilt in this chillness.”
I set back my self and start back to get my sleep but it was gone..,I waited for 10 min then finally decided to go to toilet at least , may be I felt sleepy after pee…I thought.
Very slowly I let my quilt to move down …I pretended that quilt should move down itself.
It was cold, I switch my table lamp for light.
In a very dim light of lamp i found my mobile far away to my bathroom door in three piece
Front, Back cover and Battry. I get down to bed, Yawn and went to the door pick my mobile
And went in side the bathroom while assembling my mobile with batt and back cover .
I just assemble and press power button . it get back in life and ignited the bathroom with its light as meanwhile i forget to switch on bathroom light.
I saw the mobile , Its was 5:19 ; 1 Jan 2015, OH YEAH its a new year YUP….
I smiled due to partying late and boozing , I find myself little tired.
As i saw mirror , It was front of me, I shocked…………………………………………..
I saw my self smiling in my mobile light which was coming from down and i look like a devil smiling in it.
F*** , I switch on my mirror light.
I saw my self, It remind me my dream.
I realised after some time watching me that many time i wash my face, shave and combing even, I never saw my self so deeply like now.
I saw in my own eyes, I find myself nude in my eyes as nothing is hide.
I tried to smile but i know it is fake one which i generally use to fake with others.
All my past start rolling in my eyes.
“What have you done to yourself ?” I asked to me.
I know the answer but never believe it. This is my first meeting with myself .
I was looking me like a idiot then like a clown then a criminal…
“I will left my f***ing job today because i am not happy and i will do what makes me happy “
I promise myself.
what we see is not true often,what is true is rare;be cool in problems;every thing what we want is illigal……………………….blah blah blah blah……………bloody philosphy…………realty has no rules
we always have a factor in every thing every time which we can not explain……..you see philospy just give you some fake excuse to be satisfied….it hold your ability and make you limited….rules,which we are learning from our child hood is become our obligation in time, when its time to mingle with the world ,then we came to know its a real jungle that can be understand by the pattern of chemistry or biology nothing can be described in one group, there similarity in small groups but on broader view rules mold……..its true ……
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